If you were 18-29 when your mother passed away, please write to me!

Hi, I'm Tara. I am a motherless daughter as well as mother. My mother passed away July 1st, 2000 of metastasized breast cancer. She was 50, and I was 22. We were extremely close, and I miss her each and every day.

After her death, I decided that I wanted to help other families, especially the daughters, who had to face the same hard time we had had to deal with. So, I started grad school in psychology and am now near completion of my doctorate studies.

However, I need research participants who would just tell me their stories. In particular, I am looking for those were between the ages of 18 and 29 when their mothers passed away.

Please write me back so that we can learn about each other and feel not so alone. I am hoping that through my research, I will be able to better understand how to treat others like us.

Tara

Hi Tara,

I am 24 years old and I lost my Mother almost 1 year ago (December 29th). I would love to tell you my story. Is there anything specific that you would like to know or just everything?

I graduated last December just 2 weeks before my Mom's death with a B.S. in psychology. Since her death I have not been able to decide what I want to do with my life or when I want to go back to graduate school. I think that it is wonderful what you are doing.

I do not have time today (at work) to tell you my story but I would love to tell you it soon.

I know a couple of other women between the ages of 18 and 29 who might also tell you their stories.

Please let me know what you would like to know. I hope to hear from you soon.

Hi Tara,

My mom died just after my 28th birthday (February of this year). She had breast cancer, but she died of a stroke while in the hospital after her mascetomy.

She was a single mom and devoted her whole life to myself and my brother. I spent the better part of the last decade trying to prove how "grown-up" I was, how independent -- what really caught me off-guard was how little and childlike I felt when she first got sick. For six months, she was hospitalized every month. She was weak and scared and leaned on me for support. Seeing my mother frightened was the most upsetting thing I had been through until that point.

Now everyday, I realize there are more and more questions, but there are never any answers. I suspect someday I will, on my own, learn the answers, but until then I live every day feeling slightly lost.

Anyway, I don't know what it is that you're looking for, but if need anything more, feel free to ask.

All the best,

JPR

Hi Tara..

My name is Pam, my friends call me PJ. I am 48 years old. I lost my mom when I was 24. I am single and I have a 25 year old daughter who is my pride and joy. I am currently a grad student in Columbia, MD. I am working on my masters degree in early childhood special ed.

Being a motherless daughter is definintly responsible for shaping who I am. I am extemey independent and goal oriented. I feel like I don't have a moment to waste. I am so thankful for the simple things in life and take nothing for granted. I seem to have an "intuition" about people and situations. I always want to find out the core reasons for things so I can deal with them and move on.

I would love to tell you my story and be a part of your study as well as connect with you and support you. We have a special sorority of sorts that gives motherless daughters everywhere an instant connection. I also have the deep desire to help and come along side other women like us.

Please email me directly at pjones43@jhu.edu

I wish you well and commend you for your research

Peace and Happiness,

PJ

Hi Tara,
I lost my mom 11 years ago when I was 19 to lung cancer. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her & miss her like crazy. I have a 1.5 yo daughter & it breaks my heart that they will never know one another. It's been extremely difficult to be a mother without my mom by my side. I am often very jealous of other women that do have their mom and it really bothers me when they take them for granted or complain about them. Tomorrow (11/9) is the anniversary of my mom's passing)

Wow, you lost your mom on my 24th birthday. I'm very sorry for your loss. :(
Do you have any specific questions? Feel free to contact me any time.
Good luck with your research.

Candy

Hi Tara,

I lost my mom this past summer. We were best friends and she was the rock in my family. She was killed in a car accident and it was so sudden. I had just seen her that morning and it has been very difficult since. I am 28 years old and recently got engaged. I think about her every day, all the time and get so sad when I think that she will not be at my wedding or be there with me when I have children someday. I am just coping day by day. I would love to help with your research in anyway.

Thanks
CC

HI, My name is Sarah-I lost my mom to breast cancer 10 yrs ago this past Oct. I was 22. Now, I am a mom myself...it is extemely challenging without her. I was in my last year of college when she died...and have spent years trying to figure out what to do, how to do it, and survive. I have a dad and sister, but we are not close at all. Barely make any efforts even for the holidays. Really, for me the biggest struggle is not having an adult to check in with or give me advice...or let me know when I am doing something that may have consequences I should be aware of..I have never felt more like a lost child in the grocery store. As if once she died all my cheerleaders, coach, and support vanished. I was left with myself and not really knowing let alone understanding anything about the way things work in the world. She was ill when I was 11 and went into remis. and then the cancer came back...she was sick for most of my life.

I would like to share more if you would like...

Thanks

Sarah B

HI Tara
I was 4 6 months shy of 18 when my mom passed. My father passed when I was about 5 so I was on my own after my mom's heart attack.
I am not sure if you want someone's story who was a bit under 18, but I am here if you do. I am 33 now.
My void and feelings of loss for my mom have evolved, but they never leave.
If you want someone to talk to, I am here.

Hi Tara,

My name is Connie Goranson, and I live in Englewood, Colorado. One of my best friends lives in
Bolingbrook! I'm originally from the Chicagoland area myself -- I moved to Colorado to make a
fresh start when I was 25 -- and I just love it here!

My mother died when I was 18. She had been sick with cancer since I was 16. It was so
emotionally painful -- her being in and out of hospitals, that I had virtually forgotten my 17th
year. Mom died many years ago, but I still miss her terribly. She was THE ONLY family
member who provided encouragement, love, and acceptance to me. Hence, I've always felt
I pretty much lost my best friend.

I also have a B.A. in Behavioral Sciences, and will be attaining certification as a special education
teacher next year. Children with special needs have been my "path" -- adolescents who've
lost parents can also relate to me . . . understandably.

Please feel free to email me if I can assist in your doctoral studies.

Sincerely,

Connie

Hi Tara,

My name is Amy and I am married with four children (all boys). I lost my mother at the age of 20 after a five year battle with breast cancer. I remember it as if it were yesterday. My mother died November 14, 1994 at 6:00 p.m. We buried my mother on what would have been her 49th birthday. The holidays came and went with not much notice. This was the worst year of my life. Not a day goes by that I do not think of my mother. The first three years after her death, anytime I or someone else mentioned her name, tears would appear. After twelve years I can finally speak of my mother without breaking down. I love to talk about her. We were so close to being best friends. We would have been after I stopped being such a difficult and rebellious daughter. We never got to that point. She died too soon. This has always been one of my regrets. I was to busy socializing with my friends when I should have been nurturing my relationship with my mother. Even though my mother was fighting breast cancer, I was in denial that she could possibly die. I did not come to grips with it until four days before she died. She had a seizure and went into a coma. My family did a very good job at trying to protect me from the harsh reality of what was to come. At this point however, I knew she was going to die. I was in shock for about a year after my mother died. I thought I was fine while everyone who was close to me saw that a had become very reckless... I would love to share the rest of my story with you. Please contact me.


Amy